


Life at the BTS and 1D Mansion

by Terriefying



Category: One Direction (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Crack, Everyone Is Gay, Family, Hospitals, How Do I Tag, I have no clue where this is going, I only know like 3 1D members and one BTS member so, I should be burned alive for writing this, I'm thirsty for attention, Jungcock dresses up as Shrek and reader gets hornier than a unicorn, Mpreg Harry, Multi, NSFW (duh), Pregnant Reader, Shrek kink, Smut, Terrible writing, This is crack, Zayn fucking dies but he comes back alive its ok, big public orgys, end mii, polyamorous I guess?, potential future Shrek yaoi, they're the only three characters who will come up, this started off as a shitpost contest between friends, y'all wanna cringe and wish you could burn your eyes off, yea read this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-10-26 17:22:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20745920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Terriefying/pseuds/Terriefying
Summary: Y/N is sold to BTS and 1D. Chaos follows. This fanfic makes me regret my entire existence. Enjoy.





	1. I was s0ld??1?1!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N thot today would be an ordinary day if readig BTS yaoi and listening to 1d. . .. but what happens wheb her biggest dreams cames true togeyjer and she is sold? Read ti find out....
> 
> Dis is my first fanfic don't hate!1!1!1!!!!! >:( H8rs are meanie buts with no life so if u hate no 1 likes u!

I throw'd my hair into a messy bun gazing into my beautiful blue orbs i wasn't like other girls I listened to one direction and BST everyone else was were stupid beliebers with no brian cells or music taste. I heard mum call me from downstairs and i rushed diwn tripping on the lace of my converse suddenly a pair of strong manly arms caught me "Hey" he growled sexily giving me a smirk. It was HARRY STYLES! "Omg mum is this one direction what happened the make a wish people werent meant ti come until friday"

"Well sweaty this is america and I can't pay for ur healthcare, So i decided to dabble in the human trafficking trade and sold you on the dark web. However two peoole bid the same so now they have joint custody of u have fun."  
I screamed as i looked up and saw harry styles and all the BTS singers having one big gay orgy i slowly felt myself getting horny "Hi y/n!" They all said in unison between moans "we're ur new dads."

I smile as I watched my new family it was all so sweet the orgy lasted til dawn and I knew it would be like this alot it was weird but I loved my dads i was the luckiest girl in the world

We arrivev at the my new home as I stare at the mansion I gasped "Is so big!" I gasped moaning softly as Juncok nibble my ear "Not the only thing thata big bby girl." He growed making me a bit wet 

The housemaid norma greeted us at the enrrance and blew a kiss at the bts boys tgey all gigfles ans I could see Zayn getting a boner

"You naughty boy we have to continue what we left off earlier" Norma smiled pulling her gray hair into a ponytail

"Maybe with the new girl to" Zane smirked and leaned in to give me a hickey

"Lets show her aroubd first." Jimbook interrupted. possessive. it made me giggle that theybwere fighring over me

When we walked inside jungcook whispered inmy ear telling me he had a surprise for me. I licked my damp lips as I gazed at his big bulge

"Um sweaty," i lick my lips sexily as i stare at his arms "arent I too young to do the woo" 

"Yeah but guess what I have secret marrage document that Im hiding from ur dads becauz they'll all get jealous." Junkook giggled and kissed my ear I moaned softly "Guess it's daddy now instead of dad." I moaned

As his peepee went insude me i screamed I was no longer virgin as I orgasms i scream "ooooo Fuck me harder shrek" suddenky jungcock stops fucking me "what did you say you slut." I whimper with fear and arousal "Im sorry I have a secret kink I long for the ogre schlong in my ding dong" suddenly junkycook snirked and put his peepee in my ear "get out mee swamp you dirtyy slut" he growled in a sexy Scottish accent 

I moaned and moaned suddenly harry waddled in struggling ti move because of his ginormous boner "guys everyone can hear u" he moaned as he saw juncook earfrickig me

Jimbook pulled out we quickly got changed blushing a little but wity that look I knew it wasnt over we would definitely be continuing this tonite i blushed at the though

Suddenly jungook pulled ne close and deep kissed me our tongs restled for doninace when I won I smirked abd played with his tongue he tasted of smoke and alcohol it was addictive 

Suddenly he pulled back and sucked on my neck I knew he was giving me a hickey I moaned 

After harrry cleared his throat again we quickly left the room. Me proudly showing off ny hickey. I was jungkicks and only Jongcocks'


	2. Arguments.... :(

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/n and Junkcock having are a fight

As me and Jincock walk to kitchen we see where Norma the house maid is trying to stick a fly swatter up Zayn's ass

"Umm" i look at jungcuck and he shakes his head giving me a kiss on my kneecap. We link hands and watch the heartwarming scene. 

"THE TABLE IS FOR EATING FOOD NOT ASS" Screeches Norma

"Oooo" zayn moans "Fasta Norma"

"Zayn always was a little bitch boy." Jungkek whispers. There's a gleam of wisdom in his eyes. Almost as if he's experienced the little bitch boyness first hand. And suddenly it gone.

Me and juncook quickly decide to leave before we get anymore horny. Suddenly harry seizes me and picks me up bridal style and give me hickey. I moan. He's bettee than jungcock, whi stares wistfully at my ass.

"I wish only u owned me jungcook is awful at this" i moan

Suddenly In dropped and land on my back. "How dare u say that abiut my husband juncookie Wookie pie " harry yells. Juncook is in tears. I bite my lip as the two walk away ti join Zayn and Norma in the kitchen. Im all on m own. I cry and run ti pack my bags. I decieed im running away. Its not faur i didnt do anything wrong apart from be irrisistibly smexy. I have the worst life ever.


	3. Hopsital... :( 🏥🏥😱

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi nerds, thots, and all things hot. I decide to torture you again with another chapter of this dragged out shitpost

I run out the door tears streaming from ny eyes suddenly a hand grabs my arm it dislocates I cry out but also discover I have a new kink I let out a quiet moan making juncook's eyes widen "You like that baby girl" "Yes daddy" i whimper in a mixture of agony and arousal

He picks me up and we make love and love and I moan and suddenly i let out a quack i didnt mean to but i look surprised as I spot the arousal in juncook's eyes "do that again baby girl" he moans and puts the peepee in me 

He bangs me against a tree firgetting about my disloacated arm which is magially fixed fir smut purposes

We do it to dawn then we fall asleep on each other when we wake up I turned to face him "I must tell u a secret jungook" i bite my lip crying

"Are you pregnant?" His eyes are a mixture of fear and arosal

"No but would you want me to be" i giggle

"Yes." He admitted blushing I blush then we kiss tempted to do it again but I pull away

"I have 2 weeks to live" i burst out sobbing 

Juncook licked me ear and kissed me all over "in sorry baby girl i promise to make u last 2 weeks amazing what are you sick from"

"Its an unkniwn tropical disease no one evee in the world has it befire me there is no cure" i cry

Juncoik hugs me "its not fair ur were me soulmate"

We cry for a bit more. Then we go home..

Suddenly we go back to the mansion we go to the living room and zayn and all the other bts members are bent over on the couch norma the housemaid is smacking their ass with the fly swatter from earlier "Im dying" i say unfased by their couch fucking i have been in this house fir a month now not only am I used to it but ive seen worse. Suddenly their moans are mixed with sobs even norma in her dominatrix outfit is sobbing and starts to smack her own ass. I try not to get aroused Jabstacloock owns my heatt and only he gets to make me hirny... he and one , very thicc and special ogre...

Suddenly I pass out but everyone is too close to their orgasm to help me

1 hour later

Norma does cpr on me by smacking my chest with the fly swatter "live child live" she screams trying nit to get aroused she cant wait to dominate me too 

Suddenly i sit up and gasp I can see juncock get aroused 

"We need to take her to the hospital." Harry says lickng his lips as he thinks of all the comatose patients that will be there  
Suddenly we arrive at the hospital my breaths are laboured everyone thinks I'm dying but im a roused thinking of norma spanking me

Im put on the bed and juncook wishes he could make love to ne on it..  
Harry is no where ti be seen bur everyone else is beside me by my bedside 

"I love you, Y/N." Juncook sobbed, giving my fingers a cheeky nibble

"She needs surgery." The doctor said. Everyone cries. I close my eyes as im injected with sedativie and moan a little surprising jonguck. Turns out im a masochist. But jimblock wouldnt get ti experiment eith that until later...

Slwoly i pass out my thoufhts wet and filled with shrek, lord farquaad and jungcook all fucking each other.


	4. Rip in piece Zayn u little bitch boy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Im so fucking sorry

I wake up after surgery and see everyone but juncook at my bed

"WHERE IS HE" I SCREAMed

Nurses run in making sure I'am ok and they pin m down to stop my thrashing "Who do u think got you the brain replacement" one seays

I cry and scream and kick everywhere "NOOOOOOoooOOOOoooOOO Whyyyyy He has the biggest dick out of eryone here!"  
Niall looks like he's going gonna cry and norma would have strangle me if she didn't know I found that sorta stuff kinky

Suddenly juncook walks in dragging harry behind him who looks smug and content we all knew he'd put the 'toes' in comatoes he had a toe kink that no one would participate with

"Juncook? But the doctor said that you got the brian transplant"

"Yes darling I anal fucked zayn's ass until he died and used his brain. Its ok becas he was a little bitch boy" juncook smiled and licked my earlobe making me moan

I moan mire and everyoje knows we need to be alone. Harry is once again nowhere to be found but unusual screans are cumming from the maternity ward  
"I'll make sure you return here in nine monthsn baby gerk." Bigcock growled and thrusted his peepee in me

I mone and moan more and more "Thats my little hoar" growled Jumbguck as I bucked against him 

"me and my husbad when he were alive was like this" sigh an elderly woman in the next bed

"Oh I show u you don't ned a man in ur life honey" cried norma soon moans followed as well as the sound of sloppy kissing

we shudered suddenly pt off love making at the thught of wrinlky old ppl fucking

"oo oo aaaah" moaned the old woman "i dont think i'll be able to walk tomorrow"

"yea I do have that effect on people" we couldnt wsee her because of the curtain thank god but we knew she were smiking

"No i have arthritis" that was the last we heard before we wented home.


	5. Drama...

We return home and everone is super happy, Norma decided to put on my favourite movie, shrek, knowing full well it would get me aroused. 

Halfway into the movie jincock got a boner looked at Lord Farquad. i couldnt not blame him the small guy did make me wish my belo area was his kingdim. I was quick to kiss him and moan into his mouth as he bit my lip marking me as his "Mmmmmm shrek ur so sexy." I moan and jangkooks eyes widened while everyone laughs "get a room" harry laughed. Junglock licks my teeth and grinds against me and slaps my thicc asshole I maon so loud they ended up pausin shrek to hit us with the fly swatter

Junklick picked me up bridal style and claimed my mouth as his I let him for some reason I felt like a bottom and refused to be anything else as of late. 'Hm.' i thought inbetween moans 'Must be. feeling off since because of the surgery' 

suddenly I cry out "shrek do me already" i moan "i want to get in ur swamp" that set him off her couldnt wait until we got to his bedroom so he started pounding into me against the wall right there right then. I think ogre kinks r contagious becayse it only took one sex session with Jungruck to get it too. Perhaps it was an std... shreksually transmitted disease??????????????????????????????????/

Suddenly something flashed i cry out in a mixture of fear anf arousal Jungkick pounded into me one last time and did the cummy wummy inside my tummy but its ok I wouldnt get pregnant because of my weird birfth medication which stopped my period

Back to theflash we look up eyes still hurting from bright light but jungfrick was used to the light beign famous and alll "Fucking paparazzi" he grunted and pulled up his trousers buckling them I was left naked on the ground.

"John." Gunjkook Snarled. Practically spitting venom. They had history it was so clear.  
"Jeon." John snapped back

"Uou shouldn't be here. We banned you from the annual sonic sex-con ever since u leaked the sonic sex tapes." Groaled Jungcook. I have never seen him like this it made m scared bt also aroused. I was begiinning to feel like a little bitch boy.

"Yea well I have a spar key wot r u gonna do"

I'm gonna make love to you john."

"wht?" jon gasped and dropped his camera

"I'm gonna make u beg for that key in ur ass"

"Nani?" Cried john

"Omae wa nou shindeiru" Jumbocock whispered be four he whipped Jon's trousers down in a flash

I shifted in a mixture of discomfort and arousal as I saw the key thrusted up Jon's asshole but he wasnt fightign it he wanted it deep down I could see in his green orbs.

"Guess u coulod call this the key to happiness" Maoned jon  
th sight got jungcrick so arosed he comed all over Johns hair  
John cummed all over the key  
I wish I could make Lungkook likethat" I sigh before runing off i dont feel well

jimblock sees this and runs after me licking himself clen  
John runs off key still in his ass camera in grasp

i throw up in the toilet and Jungkock rubs my back "U ok babe?"

"No " I sob tears joining my puke and shit "I don fel good and now my noodies are publick :("

"babe omfg how did U say that outloud"

"Say what" I maon a mixture of arousal and anusea his voice ALWAYS made me hrny

"never mind."

"Jingluck im so scared everyone will kno about uss now"

"Dont worry about it babe it will be ok" jungcock reassured me and gave me a kiss on my finger, before he chewed a bit off my fingernail and ate it

I sigh and flop bak onto the toilet whilst jungcock licks my tears


	6. Chapter 6

were sitting in the living room chilling relaxing for once Usually harry would be in here trying to succ r toes but for once hes nowere to be seen... We r all kinda worried but we shrug it off trying to enjoy the peace while it lasted but suddenly

Norma walks Harry into the living room "Guess what" she practically purred giving harry's leash a tug. It's only then we see the pink furry collar attatched to Harry's neck. it has a tag that said "Norma's bitch" and a long pink leash was attatched to us.

We were all jealous

I break the silence and sexual fantasies that r brewing in the room "yes what is it?" I ask before snuggling into Jindosh. I reach up and decide to give his eye an experimental lick. Judjing by the bulge i can feel against my ass he likes that

"Wer pregnant!" Harry exclaims and our eyes all widen with shock.

"But isnt norma too old for children." I exclaim wriggling a little, jungcocacola moans.

"Norma is, but im not." Harry giggled as norma kissed his abdomwn.

Then e all clap for harry and Norma as they go in for a kiss suddenly my phone buzzes its a text from my bff amy who conveniently pops up in this segment of the story and is never seen agaiin!!!1!

"Omg r u fucking jinglecock?" Amy texts me I glance over at my husband/owner and bite my lips idk what to respond.

I blush as a picture of my getting dominated like a little birch boy is attatched guess I gained some of zayn's traits thx ti the brain transplant 

Suddenly Jungledungle snatches my phone and tpyes for me

"Kinda its a long story xD xD XD rofl"  
Then he gives my earlobe a bjte "that could be us." He whisperes huskily and sexily as he gives haryy's baby bump a glance if i were a man i woukd be getting a boner right now

I giggle and gives him kiss back but nit for long bwcauae I feel dizzy. Suddenly I pass out for plot purposes bc the stiry is getting dry. "Y/N!!!! Y/N!!!!" I can hear juniorcock's scream as I tumble out of his lap and onto the cum-stained floor

Norma cries and picks me up with her muscly arms if I were conscious right now I know I would moan

We arrive at the hospital Longcock is cryin Harry is trying to comfort him but hes also in hysterics because of the pregnancy hormones 

"Y/N.... Y/N..." Jungclock cries and sticks his tongue up my nostril giving it a cheeky lick

"Ah so this must be the infamous Mrs Junglecock who broke all the Fangirl's heart." The doctor smiles  
"You know bts?" Harry style gasps "Yes" he responds fiddling with some papers "I am a stan and also were in love with BTS... i divorced ny wife in hopes to be with you" Everyone starts crying at the emotional and heartbreaking story " But alas you have someone else and im happy fir you all." The doctor cries but wipes his tears. "It seems as the misses here is expecting a Juniorcook and that is why she passed out." Everyone suddenly cheers Norma and Harry are making out slowly moving to the comatose ward all the noise wakes me up my beautiful green eyes stare at Jungcooc "what is it" I murmur, tired

"Wear going to be perants!" He screamedbwith excitement and hug me

I scream with excitement and our lips smash toegther 

"What r we gonna call the baby?" He asks me and I smirk  
"We both say what we wan to call it on three ok"  
"Ok"

"1...2..." We both say we both know what we are going to say though

"SHREK!" we both cry out before laughing and start making out I am so happy im expecting a baby with Junfrick.... Life has never been butter.


	7. Anus baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No
> 
> Also, to the 69 people who clicked on this shitfic
> 
> Thank u
> 
> To the 4 people who kudos
> 
> Why. Are you okay?

_ **"Who knew such a tiny man would have such a- Hnnfhgh..." Shrek's big ogre tongue poked out of lucious, plump green lips as he let out a loud moan. Lord Farquaad was pounding him from behind, clearly having a good time. Both the men knew that shrek's ginormous dong would never fit in the tinier's anus, so this was their usual position - apart from when they got frisky.** _

_ **Suddenly, Lord Farquaad stopped his thrusting, smirking sexily. "Wh-Why'd you stop?" Shrek panted and stroked his long ogre schlong.** _

_ **"Beg for it, you little bitch boy."** _

_ **"I know I usually say better out than in, but in this situation that isn't the case. Take me, dominate me! Ravage my swamp! Show me why they call you lord Farquaad!"** _

_ _

You stopped ur typing of ur shrek yaoi as the door creeked sundnly Jungclick walked in smirking "oh whats ghis ur typing" "Um nithing" i blush enbarrassed. Suddenly junkook blushes abd kisses ne deeoly "Dont think i dint know about ur little fetush and hobbies by the way I have a surprise stay here" I shift excitedly horny biting ny lip suddenly Juncock waddles in with the sexkiest shrek cosplay i ever seen aand ive seen a lot just looking at it makes me moan. It has a special hole cut iut for his dick to dangle out. I push him onto the bed and we make out 

I moaned As i ran my hande along Jumbocock's sexily, arousing shrek cosplay. God looking at it made me si wet. Clearly Juniorcook liked it too with how much they were kicking against my belly. He pounded into me making me moan and wirthe and just wheb he was about to come...

"HARRY IS IN GON E INTO LABOUR! Zayn screamed as he bust in thriugh the door

I whimper as jinglecrack pulled his peepee out my coochie but he leans down and whispers sexily, scottishly, he knoes i like it like that.

"This aint ogre, baby girl."

We dash out of the room cum in my hair and we gasp as harry is smoking crack with his bear ass in the air

"What" I say as Norma's entire fist js shoved up Harry's ass

"I also trained to be a midwife, my lovely. You're in safe hands" Norma purred as she felt around Harry's asshole. I could see that Niall had a boner.

Something also told me that Norma didn't train to become a midwife for medical purposes...

We hear a groan then suddenly a cry. Out of harry's ass comes a screaming shit stained baby. It had blonde hair and red eyes. We all coo at the scene.

"The umbilical cord is spaghetti" Nial points out but no one cares. We all just ignore himm. Fucking Nail.

"What r u gonna call it." We smile at the new parenrs.

Harry cradles his anus baby and kisses her forehead. "Amy" He smiles. Norma also smiles

"Why amy" asked Jingcrockery

"I don't know. It's almost as if some godly being who dictates our every action from another universe told me to name the baby after a certain someone." Hirry said. Frowning.

We r all confused but then suddenly amy cries ""Oh for fucks sake" he says and yeets amy out of the room

Suddenly we all grow horny and even tho i belong to jungmole and am carying his child we all do a big orgy in the living room

I smile and glance ivee at jinglejock who is giving Nial a blowjob

Norma is cleaning up Harry aftwr his delivery

All this was nice but i couldnt wait for tonight when Jungcuck would claim my swamp aa his in his shrekxy cosplay.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first "fanfiction" and im so sorry
> 
> Also amy if ur reading this Hello are you proud of me


End file.
